Why see an “expert” when you could just call up your personal phone sex therapist? I’m cheaper than a shrink, and way more fun. Not to mention hotter. And unlike some over-educated schmuck reading from the DSM, I’m not here to judge you. But I WILL “diagnose” you, if that’s what you need. What do you need?

You NEED my un-professional, no limits, and no taboos phone sex therapeutic care.

“Going to therapy” carries a certain social stigma, however unspoken. Mental health issues are supposed to be “cured” by bucking up, cheering up, walking it off, etc. But depression or PTSD are just as “real” as other illnesses, even if they’re not taken seriously. Personally, I think this is because mental illness is seen largely as a “feminine” problem. You’ve heard the term “hysterical woman.”

Freud wishes I had been his phone sex therapist.

A cigar is NOT “just a cigar” to me. And I want to hear all the things you can’t tell anyone else. You can tell me anything. Every time I pick up the phone, I imagine that I’m the only person to really, truly hear and listen to you today. Or maybe for even much, much longer than that. Or who knows, maybe “ever”! I take being your phone sex therapist very seriously, and the depth of my genuine caring is infinite. Intensely infinite, just like your sexuality, feelings . . . and what else? I want you to come tell me during our intake session.

Oh, you were court-ordered here? I see. Your probation officer and I are going to be in touch. As your mandatory phone sex therapist,  I have no problem doling out the pedophile humiliation you deserve. It’s part of your treatment. Would you rather be behind bars? I didn’t think so.

Finding the right therapist is like dating, but even harder. I’m going to make you hard as soon as you walk into my office.

Do you have a “niche” fetish? Something off the beaten beating off “path”? Perfect. I’m all ears. Go ahead and sprawl out on my “fainting sofa.” I dare you to try and shock me. Or even just to be honest. Is it a taboo fantasy that has you by the balls? Like maybe a hybristophilia fetish femdomfantasy, for example? I’m not going to pathologize you for lusting after (really, deeply) “bad” girls.

Or maybe you need a phone sex therapist because you’re in a cuckold relationship. How did it happen? Are you to blame, ultimately? Or are you being “forced”? Don’t worry, we can start from the beginning. I want to hear every detail. You don’t have to cry and/or masturbate alone re-hashing them alone anymore. I’m right here. And I don’t HAVE to humiliate you during these confessions, of course. But if that’s what you’re looking for: I am definitely the dominant phone sex therapist for you.

I’m a confident, assertive kinky lady with a background in psychology.

Freud is a hack, in my not-so-humble opinion. I prefer Lacan. We’re going to delve deep into your personal Imaginary, Symbolic, and “Real.” Your subconscious is structured like a language, and only I can translate it. You’ll experience my phone sex therapist fluency while I hypnotize you, or while we role play. Time to take your already out-of-control joussaince up a few notches. My clipboard is out. Hear me clicking my pen? Good. Time to start your phonesex talk therapy.

If you’re looking for the best phone sex with a phone sex therapist who is BEYOND “open-minded,” give me a call now. I’m right here, waiting to pick up the phone!

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