Many motivators drove me to my first time cheating.

I did not plan my first time cheating. It was, in a sense, an accident. Many factors came into play. Firstly, I felt like I wasn’t being listened to by my boyfriend. He did want to make me happy, however, he never listened to what I wanted or what I was interested in. I truly believe in my heart that humans are not naturally monogamous creatures. I do not possess the emotion jealousy. Sure, I can be envious and covet my neighbor’s assets (physical, material, achievements, lifestyle).  I am never jealous, though. I just figure, there is so much cock and pussy floating around, why spend all my time being concerned about just one? Sure I love people, but I can love more than one person, several, at once. And why not?

I am a loving person and I have more than enough to give! Each man or woman has traits that the other doesn’t. Some annoy me in these ways, and others different. I understand that there is something beautiful, strong, and valuable about working through things with just one person, but what if you didn’t have to? What if you had a fight, grew tired of them and took solace in someone else. Confided in them, vented to them, fucked them… then went back to your boyfriend fresh and anew. Much less annoyed and much less resentful. All of their little shortcomings dissipate because you don’t have to be stuck with the same person. Why must we live in this culture of claiming and keeping people?

I understand maybe for the stability of having children, but that is so not me right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, I just love myself more and I am not in a very sacrificing stage of my life. The stigma around cheating is monstrous, which makes it even more taboo. Disloyalty. Infidelity. Adultery. The ultimate betrayal. Basically murder. The only moral qualms I have with it is dishonesty. I really don’t like to lie and I value openness. When the person you are sworn to is constantly hurting you and making you feel less, I feel like that morality is up for sacrifice. No one should ever HAVE to feel alone WITH someone. That’s preposterous. So, as he expected me to stay, and put up with his shit like a little wifey forever, I slowly grew close with someone else.

We were friends before my relationship and we had a bunch of sexual tension. We began spending more and more time and I began to confide in him when my boyfriend got on my nerves. My boyfriend so caught up in himself, was unsuspecting, One night we got in a long unnecessary fight over something stupid (because he liked to use fighting with me as an outlet for his unsatisfactory life). I left and told him that I was staying at a friends house instead. I went over to my friends” house and we had a long venting session where I felt listened to and no longer alone. We got stoned and I could tell he was using every fiber of his restraint, so I just kissed him.

This first time cheating unleashed the demon inside of me!

I spend my life taking care of others, and this tiny little sociopath who actually cared about what I wanted and nothing else came out. I dropped to my knees and yanked his pants and underwear to his ankles. Then I proceeded to give him one of my porn star blow jobs because it was deserved. He tossed me over his shoulder and carried me to the bed. Then he slid off my dress and pressed his hard cock into me. He told me how long he had waited to do that and that he thought it would never happen. I came under the heat of his body, all over his hard cock. After he finished we fell asleep together. The next morning, I went back to my boyfriend, and he was fast asleep.

He texted me an apology late, so he must’ve been up. Then I crawled in right next to him and truly forgave him. My first time cheating was not my last.

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