I have always been sadistic; emotional sadism is included in this.
When referring to sadism, physical suffering always comes to mind, but what about emotional sadism? One of the most underrated forms of sadism is emotional sadism. I love getting in people’s heads and exposing their deepest and darkest vulnerabilities. The rewarding thing is when they like it when they invite you in willingly to control their minds. When they release themselves into subspace and grant you total control of their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, I love some good old physical sadism for sure. Still, I think my emotional sadism provides the deepest connection between predator and prey.
Of course, I love to watch someone writhe around in the pain that they have allowed me to cause them, but I also love watching the look of fear growing on someone’s face as I proceed to dig for thoughts, fears, excitement, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, and goals. Then, I take them and exploit them in a safe and comfortable environment to help my little subs deepen their self-awareness and pleasure. And in doing so, I deepen their love for me. I deepen their worship and help them find purpose. Some ways I do this are through fear, intimidation, regulation, humiliation, caretaking, manipulation, and crying.
Crying is such an emotional release.
After crying, the individual feels a sense of catharsis. I would say it is similar to the catharsis experienced after orgasm. A release. Such a vulnerable time. Now, if you combine the two, sparks! Crying, then being taken care of, arousal, and finishing it off with a nice hard orgasm—ultimate vulnerability and ultimate release, leading to maximum satisfaction and intimacy. My sub and I were talking, as we do. Communication is key. We frequently have moments where we will drink or smoke pot, put on some music, and converse as equals. In doing so, we discussed several subjects of sensitive nature. It was good for her to be that vulnerable with me.
And she knew I would take care of her even though speaking about it made her terribly sad. Now, I am not saying that I get aroused by causing tearful reactions in others, but it certainly tugs at my heartstrings in the same place that intimacy comes from. It makes me feel very protective and care-taken. I feel a lot of love towards people who are willing to expose themselves to me in such away. Many others I know feel awkward and uncomfortable at such displays, but for me, it is right within my element. I feel like all of the silly small talks of everyday life dissipate, leaving exposure to what we really are, human.
Vulnerable. Fallible. Mortal. The only comfort we have is each other. As I comforted her, I felt her open up her emotional vulnerability and allow me to dig into this realm. To make her feel better, she had to grant me this permission. Once the entrance was permitted, I kissed her all over. I reminded her that she was safe. That she belonged to me and that she was safe beneath me. That in doing what I told her and following my control, she need not worry anymore—all taken care of by me and my control. The control over her mind rested in my hands, and I could guide her into pleasure if I chose. Then, I began touching her, tenderly, all over her body.
Just the tips of my fingers caressing her skin. Comforting yet sexual. Then, brushing the back of my hand over her thighs and in between her thighs. Then, as I reminded her that she was mine, I pulled out the wand vibrator and edged her. I stopped and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her more. Then, I continued to edge her. I informed her that her cumming, how and when, was entirely up to me. Then, I slowly brought her up and made her cum with my wand. She then serviced me with the wand, and I came four times! Afterward, she flopped on top of me, utterly exhausted and vulnerable. Thus feeding my emotional sadism even more.