Blasphemous Sex Jokes: The Bus Driver, The Punk, And The Nun

Sex jokes that mix religion and dirty dirty deeds always crack me up. So sit back and relax and get ready to laugh your sexy ass off! Hey and maybe even take your cock out… you might even need to rub one out at the end of this!

A punk gets on a bus and begins chatting with the bus driver. Sure enough, the conversation turns to sex.

“You know,” the punk says after a while, “one of my biggest fantasies has always been to fuck a nun.”

Just then, the bus stops. A nun dressed in a habit enters the bus and goes to sit in the back.

“Watch this,” the punk says to the driver, straightening himself up.

He gets up and walks over to the nun.

“Excuse me Sister, but I was wondering if you could help make one my fantasies come true. You see, ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to fuck a nun.”

She glances up at him with composure. “My child, I have taken a sacred vow of abstinence and must remain a virgin. Thus I cannot fulfill your fantasy.”

Defeated, the punk goes back to the front of the bus. “She turned me down,” he says to the driver. “Can you believe it?”

“Well, she is a nun,” the driver answers and then seems to think. “Actually, I have an idea. That nun is well known throughout these parts. She goes to pray in the local cemetery every day at midnight. Maybe if you disguise yourself as Jesus… she’ll let you fuck her.”

Enjoying these types of religious sex jokes? Keep reading!

Midnight comes around and the punk finds his way to the cemetery, wearing a robe, a beard, sandals and carrying a walking stick. Sure enough the nun is kneeling near the chapel, praying.

“I am Jesus!” the punk hollers out, brandishing his walking stick. “And I want to fuck you!”

The nun gets up and looks at him. “Well, I have taken a sacred vow of abstinence and must remain a virgin.” She hesitates. “But you are the son of God. So perhaps if you take me from behind…?”

The nun lifts up her robes, bends over, and the punk sticks his dick in her ass. After three minutes, he cums and shoots a big load of cum inside her.

As she turns around, he removes his costume, shouting: “Haha! I’m not Jesus, I’m the punk from the bus!”

The nun then removes her mask. “Well I’m not the nun, I’m the bus driver!”

How was that??? I hope this was one of the funniest sex jokes you’ve ever heard! 🙂 🙂 🙂

If you like these types of funny sex stories, and/or enjoy acts that are considered sinful (such as gay sex, anal sex and family sex stories) then I’m your deviant slut! How about incest phone sex or a confession roleplay? Let’s phone fuck and disobey all of the holy fucking scriptures that exist!

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