The Diaries Of A Pastors Wife: It’s Sex Life Makeover Time!
I’ve been feelin restless and unsatisfied lately. It took me a while before I figured out what has been bringin me down, but now that I know the cause I can’t stop thinkin about it. I noticed that the feelin got worse whenever I was alone with my husband. I’ve grown bored with him, but I still love him with all my heart and soul; it’s just that I realize now that we’ve never really had that spark. The kind of sparks that leaves you breathless and twitchin on the bed, after a steamy sexual rendezvous. I’ve missed out on havin that rush go through me when he kisses me and takes me to the bedroom. I love my simple husband and I love our sex life, but I need more than just vanilla in my sex life, but I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t even know if I do want to tell him at all. With him bein a pastor and all, I feel so embarrassed when ever I try to bring up our sex life, I feel like I would be lettin him down.
He’s such a good man and is the type who leans towards bein conservative and very traditional, so I don’t know how he’d feel about me tellin him that I need more fun when it comes to our sex life. It isn’t very lady like to be so blunt, so I’ve hidden my feelings from him until now. It has gotten to the place where I’ve reached a breaking point, where I feel trapped. Our boring sex life is only part of the problem, the other part is that I really want to go out and have fun with other men and frankly I want my husband to watch. I just know there are guys out there who are into all sorts of naughty things that I’ve never even thought of. When my husband is in his study working on a sermon for the followin Sunday, I sneak up to our bedroom, shut the door and have some kinky alone time. I have a few porn sites that I love to go on and I watch all kinds of kinky videos. I’m always finding something new to watch and I have a mental list of things I want to try, of the thing I NEED to try!
There are threesomes, handcuffs, roleplays, doggy style, bondage, spanking, cuckold, BBC and so much more. I’ve even gone on a few chat sites and exchanged messages with a few men who interested me. I haven’t met any of them in person yet, but I’m working towards that. I just don’t know how to be a good wife and fulfill my own needs at the same time, when those two worlds clash. So I need to feel their hands on me as I beg them to fuck me. I need them to pound my pussy, while pulling on my hair. I need a man who isn’t my husband to show me all the things I’m missing out on. So I feel guilty whenever I think of having an affair or exploring my sexuality behind my husband’s back. I know it makes me a bad wife and at church, I always ask for forgiveness about the thoughts I’ve been having, but my thoughts still remain unpure. It helps a bit however I have to admit, even if it’s only to myself, that the secretiveness of it all brings a spark to my life and gives me hope that my sex life will one day be as I’ve dreamed.
Everything seems brighter, more exciting, now that I’ve been honest with myself and my feelings. I’ve spent many nights lying beside my husband and listening to him snore, while touching myself under the sheets. I imagine meeting a stranger in a hotel room and givin myself to him, lettin him do whatever he wants to me. It’s goin to happen for real, it’s just a matter of time. I’m really lookin forward to seein just how far I can push my personal boundaries. I just know I’mgoin to enjoy life so much more now that I’m givin in to the thoughts and desires that I’ve ignored for far too long. I need a man who has what it takes to open me up like a flower! So I need a man who can coax my delicate petals open and give it to me, the way I’ve been dreamin. Where is that man?