Sex Jokes: Top 100 Funniest & Sickest Sex Jokes of All Time Part VIII

Sex Jokes # 71-73

71.

A family is at the dinner table.

The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round, and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”

“Onions?” the son asks.

“Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”

The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks.

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

72.

A boy says to a girl, “So, sex at my place?”

“Yeah!” “Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?”

Later on, the girl is yelling, “Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!”

The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!”

 

73.

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree.

Her mom responded, “Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!”

Maria replied, “See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!”

 

 

Stay tuned for Sex Jokes #74-100

 

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