I think everyone remembers their first orgasm. I also believe that it happens quite by accident for most of us. Growing up, I lived in a household where my brothers and I didn’t have too much supervision and we were able to watch just about anything we wanted on cable TV. As long as we stayed out of our mother’s way and didn’t bother her, she didn’t much care what we watched.
Cable TV offers an early sex education for many children, I’m sure. I stayed up late watching many forbidden R-rated movies with explicit sex scenes. I remember at first feeling horrified and confused, but then my curiosity prevailed over those negative feelings and I began to develop a thirst to understand sex.
Not actual sex, mind you… I was only about 9 years old. But I wanted to know more. At first, the sounds and facial expressions by the actors on TV led me to believe they were in pain but then I realized that it wasn’t pain they were experiencing but ecstasy. In my young life, I had very little little to feel ecstatic about up until that point but I wondered if I would ever get to feel something as wonderful as that.
I had a friend whose father bought porn mags and she and I started to sneak those into her garage and browse through the pages together. After a while, she got bored and moved on to exploring the forgotten boxes in her garage for treasures but I stuck to the magazines like glue. Not only did the magazines showcase women and their bodies, but they also depicted sexual acts. I noticed the same look of ecstasy on the models that were photographed. I understood now, the penis goes inside the vagina and it apparently feels awesome! I also learned that the word “fuck” was associated with this action.
I was sitting at my kitchen table one day, playing with some old Barbie and Ken paper dolls. I liked to dress them in their various fashionable outfits and pretend they were models. At one point, I began to study the paper dolls more closely. Barbie and her cohorts had big tits. They also had small waists and round hips. I wished that I could see them naked. I looked at the Ken paper doll. Ken has a penis, I realized. And he wants to put it inside of Barbie. I saw that the Ken doll was also outnumbered by the female dolls. I had six different female paper dolls in my Barbie collection but only one Ken. I bet he wants to put his penis inside all of them, I thought. I felt my clit start to feel a bit swollen. I remember feeling that when I watched the dirty movies on TV or when I looked at the magazines in my friend’s garage. I didn’t even know the existence of my clit before it started to feel tingly.
I took the Ken doll and placed him on top of the Barbie doll and started to move him up and down like the people in the movies I watched. My clit really started to react, slightly throbbing. It almost felt like an itch that I had to scratch. Instead of reaching down and scratching, I pressed my pussy against the kitchen chair and started to rub, thinking this would relieve the “itchy” feeling. What I felt was even better. I set the dolls down and began to rub against the chair even more. I moved my hips side to side, feeling my clit becoming more and more stimulated. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. No matter how hard I pressed, it didn’t feel like enough. I put my hands on the sides of the chair and kind of pulled upward, causing even more pressure on my clit. I kept moving side to side, feeling an orgasm coming but not really understanding what that meant. I kept rubbing myself against the chair, my face red and beads of sweat on my forehead from all of the effort and then I felt the wave of my very first orgasm washing over me.
I loved it! It felt so wonderful and I felt as if I discovered something that was my very own secret. Of course, once I was able to (fifteen minutes later), I did it again. It felt just as good, even better because I knew what was coming at the end of my exercise.
It took me about three months to realize that I could actually bring on that sensation with my hand. Until then, I kept using the kitchen chair, the toilet seat, even the chair in my classroom until I discovered I could do this in bed, with my hand. I was overjoyed. I didn’t need a chair or a hard surface to get this feeling. All I had to do was use my hand! And it was ALWAYS with me! Oh, the possibilities!
It took me about two years (when I had my first sex education class at school) to realize that I wasn’t the only one who was experiencing this wonderful feeling. I was delighted to realize that they had names: masturbation; clitoris; orgasm. It wasn’t just my secret any more. The whole world was masturbating! And that, my friends, is a fabulous thing!
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