Giantess Mrs. Claus.

We all know who really runs the North Pole and it ain’t that pudding-head Santa. He’s too busy gobbling up cookies and hooking his fat ass up to an I.V. of eggnog to even notice that he lost his place as the number one, centuries ago. If you asked the elves who’s in charge, they fucking know the answer. You see the elves just used to be regular men, but a certain special lady made them small. Also, it’s not enough to feel small or be treated as small.  To be shrunken down will always put you in your place. Never again will you question who has the real power.  Needless to say, we all know about the existence of elves, but who you never hear about are the MICRO elves. That’s right. It’s time everyone recognized the bad bitch that is, Giantess Mrs. Claus.

The Micro Elves Are Great for Technology.

Before all the machines, the micro elves were invented as not only a way to save space and terrorize men but as a way to be the first in the technology race. The North Pole has always been way ahead of its time. It’s no accident that the existence of micro elves occurred. There was an opportunity that only minuscule little hands good achieve and Giantess Mrs. Claus was on top of her shit. She’s pretty much Elon Musk and Kim K. rolled into one person and on steroids. Another thing, she has magical powers that can bring joy to many while simultaneously destroying the lives of others. So she’s a fucking badass. 

Giantess Mrs. Claus Had  A Plan.

Not only would she create breakthroughs for the rest of Earth to follow, but she created a new system of manipulation. When Santa is sleeping these micro elves crawl into Santa’s ear and Pinnochio the shit out of his brain. Santa is a puppet. He’s the George Bush to his Dick Cheney. His strings are being pulled and we all know who the real goddamn puppet master is. Not only does she control her mini herd, but she saved a ton on feed. All they need is reindeer trough leftovers and then she can get the bigger elves to hose them down before being carried back to her quarters…and that’s where the real fun starts.

Giantess Mrs. Claus Enjoys Entertainment.

After the micro elves are exhausted from making tiny, well anything, they are expected to get a second wind all for the sake of her pleasure, and they will. They don’t have a choice when she screams “DISPERSE!” and chases them around on her plush evergreen carpet in hopes of wedging them between her fire-engine-red painted toes. It’s all fun and games until she needs a little midnight snack. She doesn’t opt for the sugary or fatty garbage her husband eats in hoards, she likes her snacks light and LEAN.  Micro elves are basically her turkey jerky. Aside from the mind games and snacking, she’ll pop a few in her velvet crimson panties. Her husband is a notorious premature ejaculator.  She’ll sigh and say “Santa Came Early” as she starts loading them in. Besides, a couple of dozen micro hands trump two fat ones covered in cookie crumbs. Merry Christmas!

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