Cat Daddy Jesus is More Than Just a Pimp and a Deacon

Cat Daddy Jesus is an outstanding pillar of the community.  He keeps these whores off the streets by running an app.  Procure your tricks, kinks, and pay to play.  Get voice samples, and spy in on their sex adventures too.  These tricks cam, accompany you to business dinners, play your accomplice in crime, are your favorite kinky storytellers at bedtime, up for purchase if you require a wife, and more.

Every Saturday, Cat Daddy Jesus puts on a show.  It might be a circus act for the real freaks to roam, or something a bit more cultured such as the opera.  No matter what your status is in life, Cat Daddy Jesus has a woman for you.  That includes virgins!

Virgins are a rare commodity, so he grooms them from birth at the local church and orphan agencies.  He ministers to the community about the need for abstinence amongst the younger generation, for they have no skills and nothing to trade on the open market.  This pimp is an angel investor, loan shark, bail bondsman, broker, real estate agent, financial advisor, notary, but above all else a leader like no other.  He has the Midas touch and will dick slap the Pope if he needed it.  Cat Daddy Jesus will waterboard you in virgin piss collected from the “I Keep My Panties Clean” class at the local recreation center.

hump day Memes & GIFs - Imgflip

Wednesday Night Bible Study so happens to fall on Hump Day.  Come get hitched, pregnant, and your release at one of the church mixers.  There are nurses here to test you for STIs, check your vitality and fertility.  Counselors are on stand by to chew the fat with you about all of your family traumas; release them.  Everything you need to reach the land of Milk & Honey is at your disposal when you live under the ordinance of Cat Daddy Jesus.

“Don’t get caught with “wet panties and a dry purse.”

There is no such thing as the homeless in this community.  Everyone has a job and a place to stay.  Stop all the couch surfing you silly frat boy!  Be like the Dottie Peoples song and “Get Right Church and Let’s Go Home.”

When you dancing and don’t have the body to be a dancer, Cat Daddy Jesus finds it to be his mention to find something better for your talents.  If you are a stupid whore!  Then please stop whoring about.  You have to be a smart whore.  Whores are smart.  Smart whores get paid.  That’s why he grooms all the ministers to be prosperity preachers that don’t teach us about spook Gods or frivolous ideology that doesn’t serve us.  These pastors push Jesus like a drug dealer who pushes drugs.  Sex is the ultimate creative force, so this pimp pushes sex like propaganda on the news.

I’m one of Cat Daddy Jesus phone sex girls and would love to tell you a bedtime story and all about how it all turned me out.

Phone Sex Kingdom Nicole Burke