An “orchi” isn’t going to cut it as far as your penectomy castration fetish fantasy.

Nothing puts a pep in my sadistic Mistress step like a penectomy castration fetish phone sex call. It’s not a difficult decision, medically or otherwise. Deep down, you know this already. I watched a miniseries about Lorena Bobbitt over the weekend and I’m hungry for more castration sex stories. Guess what I just finished sharpening? (Hint: it begins with “k” and rhymes with “wife”)

So, is your procedure going to require me “forcing” you? Or are you an eager eunuch-to-be, strapping yourself onto the operating table for me? Your desperate pleading to reconsider might make me laugh. And your enthusiasm will undoubtedly make me sick. Ultimately, of course, your feelings or thoughts make no difference to me. I’ll perform your surgery with detached derision. How the fuck else could I possibly remove such a useless, banally grotesque appendage? Vestigial organs are not to be mourned.

Go ahead, cry me a river. I’ll lick up your ugly tears and spit them back at you. What, you thought it “deserved” some kind of pomp and circumstance? Wow. Maybe that would be it be funny if it weren’t so sad.

Come on now, “be a man” about it — just one last time!

Lorena Bobbitt gave her husband a penectomy at home for good reasons. All rapists need their dicks repossessed (or “amputated,” as John Wayne’s supporters bewailed) ASAP. In my humiliation phone sex alternate universe, castration is “just the tip” of the dick-less fucking iceberg.

The only critique I could possibly give is that she didn’t do it sooner. I think Lorena Bobbitt should’ve gotten a medal instead of that court-mandated 45-day “evaluation” stint in the loony bin. Do we live in a patriarchal society or what? Not much has changed since 1993, unfortunately.

I was disgusted to learn her husband’s severed penis warranted a search team rivaling JonBenet Ramsey’s, and worse — his castrated cock was recovered. If only the “tragedy” had ended there. But, of course, the police officer rescue team put his flaccid garbage dick on ice, rushed it to surgery, and successfully reattached. Is there no justice? In my fantasy world, 911 calls would send first responders to kill your rapist, not reattach his fucking dick. I won’t even mention accolades that foul piece of shit got because you probably already know. Plus, I’d rather talk about your upcoming incision. Did reading about Lorena Bobbitt’s brave vigilante justice make your dick twitch? Your penectomy castration fetish is my preferred method of interacting with ALL penises, especially yours.

This “castration anxiety” that has you by the balls isn’t original, by the way. You’ve probably been jerking off to some derivative pseudo-intellectual Freudian bullshit on a good day. I say fuck Freud and his drivel “theories.” Let’s take this failed “phallic stage” psychosexual development of yours to a whole other level. Your phallic stage fuck up is about to get re-staged, Oedipal trauma-wise.

I’m a Lacanian, personally. Lacan says:

“All human desire is based on castration. Fantasy and desire are a defense against castration.”

Freud was more or less just obsessed with dicks. Most men, especially scientific “experts” are. But the psychoanalyst near and dear to my heart prefers to keep things post-structuralist. That is, concerned with the realm of the Imaginary and Symbolic. The castration anxiety we’ll explore at first will be metaphorical. You’re going to dig deep. You’re going to tell me about the expectant dread you might not even fully realize yet. I’m talking about that crux of your (male) socialization. “Real Men” must avoid being emasculated at all costs. Don’t act like you were impervious to social conditioning and compulsory heterosexuality, mother fucker. Why would you waste your precious intake session attempting to bullshit me, anyway? Pride goeth, bitch.

Seems like you have a lot to learn while I make your penectomy castration fetish dreams come true. So chop FUCKING chop, loser! And yes, in your case: I do mean that literally.

So really now, what are you waiting for? It’s certainly not going to cut itself off! Ready for the best decision of your life? Good. One snip can make all the difference.

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