I recently put a box in the communal kitchen, inviting friends/roomies/visitors to leave anonymous questions (about sex) that they always wanted to know the answers to.

So, without further ado, here is my first question:

Dear Fallon:

My boyfriend wants to “do it in the butt”, but all of my friends says that it really hurts!

Is there a way to do it so it won’t hurt so much?

Sincerely, No F in the B

Dear F in the B:

Before I answer your question, let me tell you *why* anal can hurt so much: mostly it is about the angle and speed of insertion.  And there are quick fixes for both.

The first is all about the position that you use – doggy style is not a good position, even though it seems to make sense at the time.   As for the speed, your partner has to have great control or else if he thrust a tad too fast, you could react (or jump or tense, etc) and then all sorts of things go wrong.

Also, lube is your friend!  I *highly* recommend either using your own spit or a lube called “Wet” (also safe for silicone-based toys).

Okay, now on to the positions that are better than doggy-style:

My personal favorite is actually a yoga pose (who would have thought?) called “Child’s Pose”, where you sit on your knees and then put your chest down onto your knees.  It puts your ass in the perfect position, especially if you are facing towards the side or end of your bed.  Then your partner can just come up behind you and be at just the right angle and height (usually).

After reading several articles (*eye roll and head shake*) on “the best positions for anal”, the consensus seems to be with the following positions:

Spooning – Okay, this makes sense.  As long as you aren’t trying an anal-spoon-morning-sex move, I could see this one as being far less painful/awkward that doggy.

Woman on Top (also Reverse Cowgirl) – Not only does it put YOU in control (always a good thing, provided he understand not to “buck”), but he still can enjoy the view 😉

The “Stair Master” – I know that not all of us live alone (much less in a place that has stairs) but this one actually looked possible to me.  Imagine that you are on your hands (1 step above) and knees (on the step below) and your feet are on the 3rd stair.  His knees are braced behind your feet.  It’d take stamina and padding, but I’d try it once! 😉

Anal Missionary – You’re flat on your back, but you have your legs over his shoulders.  If you need extra “lift”, just put a pillow (fold it in half, if you have to) under your butt.

Somewhere in that list above has to be a position that works for you.  Good luck and happy fucking 😉