Animal sex — Knot Gonna Be Pretty.

Animal sex almost always starts out as a joke.  But, get enough beer involved, and things start going a lot further.  Someone jokingly brings up South Park and ‘that’ episode, someone else brings ‘accidentally’ finding dog-fucking porn while looking for the totally normal kind (sure), and then someone dares someone else to do something untoward to Rex.  Well, technically, it’s not exactly untoward.  Rex would love it.  They can’t speak human and yet pooches always know when they’re about to get their dicks sucked.

This Is What Happens When Guys Don’t Try And Crash Slumber Parties

Seriously, all us girls do is talk about dick at slumber parties just like guys always talk about pussy.  And you know what happens when pussy is brought up enough.  Everyone suddenly has to go home.  But it’s a slumber party.  No one’s going anywhere. But, the conversation keeps going, the panties get damper, and everyone wishes Chad and his friends actually picked up the fucking phone when Tiffany called an hour ago.

Enter: Rex

Tiffany’s four-year-old giant Mastiff makes his way into the living room, almost as if sensing he was needed.  No male on earth can resist a room full for drunk, teen pussy.  He’s super friendly with Gracie, nuzzling her lap and begging to be petted.  She does so until Rex starts licking her…down there.  She laughs nervously.  Everyone does.  She playfully tries pushing him away but he doesn’t stop.  Rebecca starts questioning if Rex’s slobber has Gracie so wet down there or if it was Gracie.  Crystal, the big-titted cheerleader that Tiffany’s father wants to have hard sex with whenever she visits, gasps and points to something under Rex.  Everyone stares, wide-eyed at the huge, foot-long red rocket hanging in between his legs.  What to do…

If it can’t get you pregnant, is it okay to fuck it?  I hope you have a furry fetish too!  Dial my phone sex line and let me know!