Nothing makes my day quite like a small penis humiliation call.

‘Tis the season to be grateful, so I’d like to officially declare how grateful I am for small penis humiliation. And I’m also feeling SO blessed that there seems to be no end to limp, dickless worms out there. Yes, I mean WORMS like you!

When did you first realize your dick was below average? Did you have brothers? Was it in the locker room? Or the first time you tried to take a woman to bed? Sick fuck that you are, you can’t stop jacking off thinking about that first moment she laughed at you when you whipped it out. But then again, what else is a shrimp dicked idiot like you supposed to do? Certainly not continue to mislead women who are expecting an actual cock!

Does your dickless-ness exist comorbidly with “pussy envy”?

Lots of cock-less creeps out there get into their “feminine side” when they realize women want nothing to do with them sexually. Having penis envy seems futile and unproductive. Why bother? Especially when you could aspire towards something MUCH greater, i.e. being a woman? Too bad you’ll always just be a cheap imitation. Classic symptoms of pussy envy include:

  1. Only getting off when thinking of yourself as a woman, or more specifically, a cum dumpster
  2. Repetitive thoughts like, “I wish I were a woman” and/or “Maybe everyone would like me more if I was a woman”
  3. Having an insatiable appetite for cock satisfied only by dressing like a slutty girl and guzzling cum from bigger dicks than your

Dr. Aileen recommends a strict cuckolding regimen for your chronic cockless-ness.

Did you somehow convince a woman to walk down the aisle with you? Ha. Well, it’s you who will be making sure those marital requirements are met. And you will be making sure your wife is getting THAT part of sharing a life with a man from ANOTHER man. You know, an actual man. As in: not you, little dick! It is your job as a cuckold husband to provide for her and her gentleman suitors to make sure they keep cumming back. Yours will be a love of sacrifice.

No dick? Cuckolded senseless? No problem. Just call me for some humiliation phone sex, i.e. the reality check you desperately need. Or hey, maybe you just need a “shoulder to cry on.” Perfect! You don’t mind if I cackle hysterically as you sob, right? I didn’t think so.

No one understands your deep desire for fetish phone sex like I do, especially if it falls in the magical realm that is “Femdom.” But I don’t believe I’ve heard it all yet. Especially not when it comes to the infinite, bottomless well of loneliness that is small penis humiliation. Just when I think I’ve heard it all, I get a new caller who divulges something so hilarious I almost fall out of my chair laughing.

Think you have what it takes to give me a good laugh? I hope so because you certainly don’t have a dick!

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