Sex Jokes: Top 100 Funniest & Sickest Sex Jokes of All Time Part V

Sex Jokes # 41-50

These will make you laugh as much as you make me CUM Papi LMAO,


The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

“Of course, my son,” said the priest.

“Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.”

“That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest.

“It’s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors,” continued the old man.

“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest.

“Thanks, Father,” said the old man. “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?”

“Of course, my son,” said the priest.

The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”.


What’s the best part about gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes.



How is a girlfriend like a laxative?

They both irritate the shit out of you.


What did the penis say to the vagina?

Don’t make me come in there!



What do a woman and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.


How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.


What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?

Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.


How is life like a penis?

Your girlfriend makes it hard.


Why do women have orgasms?

Just another reason to moan, really.



My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile.

That’s a big word for a seven year old.


Stay tuned for Sex Jokes #51-100


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