Revenge sex = what happens when you’re hot and cold with me.

Unfortunately, few men who lie to their romantic partners are dealt the revenge sex punishment they deserve. Lifelong vigilante justice fan that am, though, I’m not shy about administering punishments! And so . . . much to his surprise . . . that’s how the sloppy, foolishly laid plans of the last boyfriend I had to break up with ended.

One of the oldest tricks in the “Shitty, Unaccountable & Immature Man Child” and/or “Cheating Husband/Boyfriend/Etc” book is lying. Specifically, contemptible duplicitous bullshit like saying different things to different lovers. This is and indispensable tool when it comes to confusing and distracting all other parties . . . not to mention PERFECT for making them feel like they’re the ones acting crazy when the doubt and suspicion starts to “go to their heads.”

It’s much easier to pit people — especially women. They are already taught to compete with and hate each other, especially over men — against one other and fan any flames of hatred between your jealous lovers than to be honest with everyone, apparently . . . not to mention a convenient (although deeply misguided) self-protection mechanism!

I’ve always loved plot lines that subvert this tired, misogynist trope.

Ever seen the music video for that Garth Brooks song The Thunder Rolls? The husband is a prime specimen of this all-too-common jackass-ery phenomenon. Only because of a late night phone call from her husband’s freshly scorned mistress does his wife find out her suspicions of infidelity are true . . . and instead of dashing over to the sleazebag motel to strangle the “Other Woman,” she directs her revenge towards the worthy target: her cheating husband. I like to imagine that after she kills her husband (and is spared anything so ridiculous as a murder charge, etc) she and the other woman go on to become great friends . . . and maybe have some hot revenge sex minus that asshole! That’s my XXX fan fiction fantasy, anyway. . .

Believe it or not, this is how I met Blair — one of the newest faces in the Kingdom. I’m pretty sure my ex would’ve never suspected that his two-faced, self-serving idiocy would cum back to bite him in the ass . . . and by “bite him in the ass,” I mean: that it would result in his “Other Woman” fucking me instead of him.

Wanna know more about the revenge sex we’ve been having? Wanna hear it for yourself? Call me and set up a LIVE 2-girl phone sex call with us!

 

Phone Sex Kingdom Nicole Burke