Your wife called me saying that you have a premature ejaculation problem, Mr. Smith.

She says you can barely make it a few seconds without blowing your load inside of her pussy, if you even make it that far.  She went into quite a bit of detail, too.  The last time you two attempted to get intimate, you came right in your pants as soon as she touched your bulge.  Now that is quite the serious problem you’ve got there, Mr.Smith.  When your own wife doesn’t desire your cock, something needs to change.

I’m going to be completely honest with you.  I’ve never met a man whose cock had such a hair-trigger.  I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that you probably have to most pathetic cock in the entire city when it comes to pleasing a woman.  If fucking were a race, you’d take the gold home every time, wouldn’t you?  That’s not a good thing.  Don’t worry, though.  I’m here to help you with your premature ejaculation troubles.  We just need to teach your body how to pace itself.

Go ahead and drop your pants.  Oh my.  Your wife failed to mention your…stature.  Well, let’s focus on lasting for now, instead of pleasing.  On an unrelated note, I’m just going to give your wife the card to one of my associates, DeMarcus Brown.  He’s right down the hallway.  I assure you, Mrs. Smith.  One session with him and you will feel a whole lot better.  Go on.

Now I’m going to show you a series of erotic photos, Mr.Smith.  The goal is to…okay now, you got hard instantly at the first picture.  Calm down.  Now, this second photo is a bit more raunchy…and you just shot your puny load all over it.  Well isn’t this just great.  Who’s going to clean up this mess?  I don’t have any tissues.  Looks like your going to have to improvise.  Open wide.

What’s that thumping sound?  That’s probably DeMarcus with his newest cliiii- I mean, it’s probably the wind.  Yes, the wind thumps sometimes.  And moans…and says ‘fuck me harder with that big, black cock’.  That’s Philadelphia for you.  On an unrelated note, I have to make a phone call.

“You’re shaking the whole building! I’m sure she does have a lot pent-up inside. Well you would too if you saw the size of her husband…stop laughing….back up…?…you called your cousins, Coke-Can Dan and Thick Willie?!”

On another unrelated note, I have to uh…go down the hallway.  I want that mess cleaned up before I get back.

Sweet Phone Sex