Realistically speaking, there’s no safer sex than a phone-bone.  And what’s better than that? There’s NO WOMAN BETTER at it than I!  As a matter of fact, if there is such a woman, I’d Love to meet her!  Seriously, though, when you think about safe sex, what CUMS to mind?

It’s a hairy-hand job to a memory from a time BEFORE your lady at home STOPPED fucking you blind!  Or, it’s a quick blowy from the office pass-around, but ALWAYS with a baggie on, right?  The whore in the office has sucked you all and therefore, no longer remembers ANY of your names!

So, the truth is… the ONLY 100% Disease-Free, Drug-Free, Safe Sex…is with me!  I get to know you in ways your woman never even knew you liked it!  I’M the one who sucks your cock until you scream and hold on for dear life.  I am the one who cares about what we talk about, no matter WHAT that is.  And, I give it to you the way you need it!

Well, I guess by now you know about me and Phone Boning.  That’s my fetish and I’m very sure it’s yours as well!  Furthermore, ANY day now, you WILL call me asking me What To Say During Phone Sex.  You can count on this one thing, Baby; you WILL leave me more satisfied than you have NEVER DREAMED you could be.

Let me lead your guided masturbation session next time and Fly My Friendly Skies!  The only let down you’ll eXXXperience, will be when we touch back down to earth!  Cum along, take a ride. There’s a party over there, and that’s no jive!  It’s live, live, all the way live.  Don’t even have to walk, or even drive.  Just slide inside!

You know I’m…