Gay sex?  But you’re straight….right?

Gay sex fag test drops today! When it comes to sissy gay faggots, I’ve been around my fair share.  But even a pro like me gets swamped with work.  So, I called up my black friend, Big Leroy, who gladly offered to help me out a little.

“Sup, lil bitches! Crystal tells me that some of you guys actually need to take a test to make sure you’re batting for the right team.  Let’s start with the cock test.  The fuck?  Hold on, this is fuckin’ stupid.  Yo, Crystal!”

*Crystal whispers*

“Ain’t nobody’s dick that small.”

*Crystal shows Big Leroy a few white boy pictures*

“HA HA HA! Oh shit!  Okay, damn.  Aight.  Question 1: If Asked, would you be able to tuck your dick and…and make it look like a pussy down there? …Huh…Question 2…Crystal!”

*Crystal whispers*

“Who the fuck does that right in their jeans tho?”

*Crystal whispers*

“Whatchu mean, can’t last 30 seconds?  Doesn’t every dude give it to their girl for at least an hour?”

*Crystal shows the line of pissed off women*

“…Question 2:  Have you ever satisfied or been able to satisfy a woman?  Question 3…Okay Crystal I’m just gonna throw this test away.  I may not know much about the science of faggots but I got one way to tell if a man loves him some thick, juicy dick.  It’s a sure-fire way of finding out if you were meant to pound pussy or be pounded in yo candy ass.  Here’s the test.  Grab a black man and suck his dick.  If your tongue turns bright blue when he nuts in your mouth, CONGRATULATIONS!  You are straight!  If not, I’m sorry.  It’s gay sex all the way, twinkle toes.  Now, I encourage every man who fails this test to take it multiple times to be sure.  And suck really hard and let that cum really marinate on your tongue.  Done.  There.  We good Crystal?”

*Dies*

“Aight!  This has been Big Leroy, as always, keepin’ it 100.  I’m out, bootilicious.  Oh yea, one more note.  The next test:  Does your wife’s pussy turn blue after she fucks a black man?  If so, she might be cheating on you!  Stay tuned!”

Like my tests?  Want more answers?  Call me up for some sex therapy today!