Funny sex stories – Quit fucking with me, Did you sit in gum?

So funny sex stories are always well, FUN. If you get my sense of humor anyway. It’s no big secret that I’m no Domme. In fact, I enjoy my life as a slutty submissive little cunt. I love begging for cock, worshipping it and servicing it, fully. That is when it IS a FUCKING COCK.

Most of my funny sex stories happen in crazy places, bars, rooms, outside.. fuck, a cornfield. This guy decided he was just gonna take me home, I had no idea that the heels I was wearing were going to be longer than his little throbbing member.I really wouldn’t even want it to be considered a MEMBER of anything.

He Pulled down his pants and undies, PROUDLY.

The first thing that came into my mind to ask was if he had sat in gum?

Barely any hair, and maybe an inch.

To Tell the truth humiliation phone sex and small penis humiliation phone sex is FUN. Dare I say hilarious? The more I laughed at Johnny 1/2 pump the harder he got and the more he leaked. Then, of course, this funny sex stories not gonna stop there. It was just too adorable not to baby talk too. I mean it’s not like he was gonna fuck my brains out, right?

So here I go with my rather sinister mean girl giggle. I mean this is a funny sex stories, why not laugh at his expense?

Awwww, Now isn’t this just the cutest fucking pocket cock you’ve ever seen? *giggles* and It’s all mine, not that there is much of it to go around or anything! This cute little guy stands TALL and proud at a full INCH, 1 inch, 1!!! and yes, That is FULLY erect. I fucking love it! My lipstick tubes are bigger than this! Show me how you masturbate? Does that cute little prick get caught up in the zipper a lot?

When this little diddle gets hard, you CAN tell, but only by its compass-like movements, It only goes from pointing down, to pointing up, IT DOESN’T GROW! *lmao* It only takes 2 fingers to jerk off.  PATHETIC! Just index and thumb… so wait, No! that’s 1 finger and your fucking thumb, hehehehe.

OH! and when that cute little helmet spits, I’m pretty sure little A only cums about a teaspoon full. As far as fucking goes. I mean really? come ON!… One Bounce and little mushroom are just going to fall the fuck out.
Id rather humiliate the fuck out of your small penis, than waste time getting undressed. A Domme I may not be, but a mean bitch I assure you, you will meet if you bring a pathetic excuse for a cock near me.


Need to show off to a mean girl?

I mean I’m a BITCH if I can’t get it to make me cum

Give me something to work with here!

Only Jerkin for Gherkin’s, oh and for funny sex stories.

Sweet Phone Sex