Funny Sex Stories: I Have Sex Dreams About My Mother
Dear Perverts. 2017 is coming to a close in a matter of days. I love funny sex stories and I have many that I haven’t told this year. But I figured, why not close the year with some laughs? If I’ve learned anything, it’s that one man’s laugh is another man’s load. So don’t feel guilty for getting a stiffy reading my kinky confession. But if you do, you know what that means: you have to call me, you filthy pig.
I have a recurring sex dream about my mother.
But this isn’t your standard, run-of-the-mill sexy lesbian incest sex dream. The first thing you should know is that my mother shuffled off this mortal coil almost a decade ago. Please, don’t strain to offer your condolences. We’re still talking about sex, don’t worry.
About a year after she died, I had a dream that we made out.
I was young and naive and more close-minded than I am today I guess, so this subconscious revelation really freaked me out. I didn’t think these dreams would make for funny sex stories, especially not ones I would share publicly. Why am I frenching my mother? I scanned dream analysis books trying to figure it out. No luck.
The dreams didn’t stop there.
A few months after that, I dreamed that I was straddling her, making out with her again. This time, I looked down between my legs and she had grown a giant cock.
“Wait,” I said, “I…I can’t do this.”
“WHY?!” she yelled at me.
“I just can’t…you’re my mother, I just can’t have sex with you.” She is furious.
“WELL…WELL GIVE ME A SWEET HANDJOB, THEN! I WANT TO BUST A SWEET LOAD!”
Words I don’t think she ever uttered in real life.
“Mom…” I say.
“Yes?” She lilts.
“Aren’t you dead?”
You thought you weren’t going to laugh…and then you did. Shame on you.
Many years have gone by, and she still occasionally shows up in my dreams to fuck me.
Once she fucked me with a broom handle, another time she tried to grow a dick again. While I used to wake up horrified at my own brain, now I wake up laughing. It happened again. My fucked up, perverted brain grew my dead mother a cock again. The frequency of the dreams have definitely slowed but they haven’t stopped. In fact, as I’m sitting in bed typing this, laughing to myself, I’m thinking, you have just opened Pandora’s Box.
Good luck not dreaming about fucking your mother tonight, Justice.
You pervs like to laugh about sick, stupid, embarrassing sex stories, right? Considering the things we talk about, you probably have some funny sex stories for me too, don’t you? If you have the time, pervs, feel free to share. I can make you cum hard and that’s my goal at all times…but try me. I bet we can laugh pretty hard too.
It’s your time.