Funny Sex Stories and Filthy dirty sex Jokes go hand in hand
Funny Sex stories have happened to the best of us. Whether you’ve queefed while changing positions. or fucked so hard that your leg cramp threw you onto the floor.
ALL OF us Like to laugh right?
Gotta love great DIRTY JOKES.
Funny sex stories, that wll get a rise out of you
Here are a few of my faves that are sure to tickle your PicKle!
1. A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says “But sir, it’s just a sperm bank!”, “I don’t care, open it now!!!” he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside is all the sperm samples. The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!”, she looks at him “BUT, they are sperm samples???” , “DO IT!”. So the nurse sucks it back. “That one there, drink that one as well.”, so the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally, after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See honey – it’s not that hard.”
2. Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”
3. Wife: “I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars.”Husband: “How about the ones like mine?”
Wife: “Those they gave away.”
Husband: “I had a dream too…I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand.”
Wife: “And how much for the ones like mine?”
Husband: “That’s where they held the auction.”
4. Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn’t afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn’t afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn’t sleep. When she went past her oldest daughter’s room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughter’s room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter’s room and she couldn’t hear anything.
The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, “Why were you screaming last night?” The daughter replied, “Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream.”
“That’s true.” She looked at her second daughter. “Why were you laughing so much last night?”
The daughter replied, “Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh.”
“That’s also true.” Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. “Why was it so quiet in your room last night?”
The youngest daughter replied, “Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full.”
5. What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather….kinky is using the whole fucking chicken
I love a good Naughty JoKE! If you have one you’d like to share, Please leave it in a comment!!
And as always, You can always give me a ring. I’ll be sure to tickle your pickle and make it SPIT!
Funny sex stories are meant to be shared
please share your funny sex stories with me
make someone laugh today