Fuck Me Sideways has a slot to fill!
Do you enjoy being on camera? If so, Fuck Me Sideways may have a job for you. Blow jobs, rim jobs, hand jobs… Name a job, we’re looking for America’s next top circus freak! Hoes with no toes? Hoes with Afros and titty bows? Any hoe has a shot, and we’ll shoot right back! That’s our guarantee. Can you bend like a freaky deek backward? We want to see you crawl for the win, bitch! Bring you’re A-game to this freak show try out, and cum on down!
Fuck Me Sideways will put you on the map!
Literally! For participating, we will designate each competitor their very own glory hole relative to their hometown. Don’t worry, they’re everywhere! Just scan our QR code for finding the closest hole to you! And that’s not all! Every participant will be given a chance to utilize our photography studio at O-Face Headshots! To top it all off, you will also receive a one-year supply of our energy drink, BULGE (patent pending) Try all sixty-nine flavors. Last but not least, make sure to shake the can well, you’ll love the creamy aftertaste.
Fuck Me Sideways wants to know if you have what it takes!
To give you an idea of who we are looking for, here are some reviews from our past top circus freak winners.
Barbie/26/Spread Eagle, WI
“Fuck Me Sideways changed my existence. I owe my life to them! But, really I actually do owe my life to them. I sold my soul and it was worth every penny! They have given me the stardom I always yearned for. You might know me from such films as “Barbie, Anatomically correct?” and “But, Where is it Ken?” Look out for my final film, “Asses to Ashes” which will begin shooting this summer. If you get a shot at ANTCF, count your Hail Satans! Follow me on [email protected].
Still not convinced?
Here’s one from another Top Freak!
Jeremy/22/Bald Knob, AR
“Fuck Me Sideways reunited me with my family. They didn’t mean to, but as it turns out my mom is a fellow competitor! It was amazing being able to finally hold her in an embrace after being separated at birth. I finally got to breastfeed! Thank you ANTCF for making my life cum full circle while making my dreams cum true! Follow me on Twitter @JerkMeJeremy
Do you just like to watch?
America’s Next Top Circus Freak is filmed in front of a live studio audience. That’s right folks, finally, let’s make it a family affair! Bring that kin on down and let the whole clan enjoy. At long last, American entertainment at its finest!
PUBLIC WARNING: Front row seats and patrons surrounding, nearby, or in the distance while safe, are subject to bodily fluids. Fuck Me Sideways will not be held accountable for any STDs, dick trauma, or cuckolding that may occur while on-premises. Please use caution and wear a mask while fucking from within two inches away. While condoms are not being provided, hand sanitizer is complimentary, however, limited to one squirt per guest.
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