A non-comprehensive compendium of some of my pet fetishes.

You have fetishes. Everyone does. And yes, I do mean plural. Freud was onto something with that whole “polymorphously perverse” thing, if you ask me. Here’s a few of my favorite fetishes to indulge in via the (highly) polymorphous medium that is phone sex.

FEMINIZATION PHONE SEX

Lez face it: you have pussy envy. I relish every moment of forcing you to cum out of your closet and cum play dress up in mine. What are you waiting for, sissy slut? I’m going to re-christen you with a more appropriate GIRL name, by the way. Don’t forget to bring your realistic dildo.

CANNIBALISM FETISH PHONE SEX

Whether you’re looking for the Amazonian giantess of your wet dreams to swallow you whole or a discerning gynophagist, I’m all for your vore fantasy. For me, part of the allure of phone sex is having a safe and uncensored space to explore taboo fantasies. Propriety is overrated. Challenging propriety is what interests me. What about you?

EROTIC HUMILIATION PHONE SEX

There’s just something about the sound of a man’s tears that warms my cold humiliatrix heart. Many of my humiliation clients ask during our pillow talk: “Why do I call you?” I think the appeal of erotic humiliation is a sexually charged cathartic purge. On my end, I feel almost high after a good verbal abuse session. No shame in craving humiliation except that I (generously) LAVISH on you, worm!

Consider me your fetish phone sex dream date. The more elaborate or extreme your fantasy, the more it titillates me. Pick up the phone and try to shock me; I dare you. In the meantime I’ll be catching up on my John Waters and Troma Films . . . in hopes of shocking (and titillating) you, of course!

Phone Sex Kingdom Nicole Burke