I love erotic literature.

Erotic literature is a lot more likely to turn me on than porn. Call me pretentious (or just call me a pervert), but I’ve had to dog-ear many pages over the years to take a little break and get my vibrator out.

And it’s not just reading official smut that gets me hot. I’ve caught my hand sneaking underneath my pants while enjoying plenty of canonized texts, too. Has a good (and maybe slightly steamy) book ever made you feel compelled to masturbate?

Don’t get me wrong, I do LOVE smutty paperbacks, especially older ones. Gay, straight, “special interest” . . . you know the kind I mean, the kind with phone sex numbers in the back! One of my most prized possessions is a 1972 edition of a (and absolutely filthy) gay porn magazine called Straight To Hell. 

I still remember the joy I felt when my high school best friend and I stumbled upon a treasure trove in the attic of her new house: every single copy of Hustler and Playboy from the mid-60’s to the present day, i.e. the previous owner’s death. All our sex questions were answered! And with such stylish, smutty panache . . .

I remember a game I used to play with my high school boyfriend that involved books, too. I’d make him read out loud for as long as he could while I jerked him off. Torturing him with this game was always so much fun. And he was always such a good sport . . . sometimes he could even last whole chapters at a time!

Want to write our own erotic literature story together, starring you and me? Call my nasty, no limits and no taboos sex hotline. I’ve got my pen (and my vibrator) at hand, ready to go.

Phone Sex Kingdom Nicole Burke