My guests gorged themselves on a cum buffet.

I love cooking with cum. My secret ingredient for this Thanksgiving dinner was creamy “dark (and some white!) meat” jizz. Everyone had seconds . . . and thirds!

Not being much of a traditionalist, I opted to throw a creamy secret ingredient-themed potluck. I invited some of my married friends who were notorious swingers.

They knew why I invited them. I knew they knew how to have a really, really good time. Plus, they were definitely proficient cum chefs!

I watched my friend Anne ladle extra cum gravy onto my girlfriend’s plate. She licked her lips in anticipation, turning me on. I couldn’t resist feeding her the first bite.

Once I’d poured everyone a Galliano cum shot (my personal favorite semen cocktail), I lifted my glass for a toast.

“I’m thankful for having more cum than any of us could ever drink or eat . . . and to be able to share the joys of debauchery with all my perverted friends sitting here around this table!”

I tossed my head back, savoring every drop of the refreshing, creamy deliciousness.

Licking the glass, I looked around and saw many of my guests doing the same, or linking arms to feed each other their shots.

For dessert one couple shook up their homemade whipped cream and went around spraying it into each of our mouths. I was the hostess, so I got two sprays of course!

That whipped cream was so good I’m going to share the recipe here. Bon appétit!

Homemade “Double Cream

Serves 12-15

– 2 cups heavy cream (I use coconut)

– 4 heaping tablespoons powdered sugar

– 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

– 2 tablespoons semen (refrigerate first)

1. Whisk vanilla and semen together in a small mixing bowl.

2. Add the rest of the ingredients

3. If you don’t have an electric mixer, beating with a fork will do. Mix until fluffy!

4. Refrigerate overnight or at least an hour before serving.

Phone Sex Kingdom Nicole Burke