During the hottest part of summer, his cum cow fantasy translated well to the county fair.

His cum cow fantasy was about to take first place during the annual county fair. I’ve written before about how I procured my male cum cow. Usually the alternative realities we discuss during our phone sex chats revolve around a place called “The Ranch.” But since it’s fairgrounds season, the dog days of summer now — it was time for my prize cum cow to go where he belonged: a competitive exhibition.

Imagine a (not necessarily dystopian) future where human cum cows are judged by a juried panel. Think of it as grown-up 4-H. Back at The Ranch, I have been preparing to showcase my prized cum cow for months. I’ve hired an additional handler for him, a woman to experiment with new strategies for milking him. Every cum cow handler brings something new to the milk-collecting table!

In fact, this debut of my caller, my cow, at the fair is how The Ranch became the all-natural, organic cum milk empire it is today. Nut milk was becoming increasingly popular, especially in California. And I knew the health benefits of semen were mostly unknown and definitely underappreciated. Hemp milk, watch out. Male cum cow milk alleviates symptoms of depression and anxiety, helps stop the brain from aging, and has even been shown to lead to a longer life.

My male cum cow fantasy was to put his delicious, healing cum to its best possible use(s).

This is the first year “Best Male Cum Cow” is even a category at our county fair. By sending potential judges samples of my caller’s milk as the fair season approached, interest in this new livestock exhibition. During this inaugural year of the cum cow showcase, The Ranch is providing most of the male cattle. None of the other cattle have been undergoing quite as extensive training and grooming as my prize cum cow, of course. And of course, there is also the fact his sperm is naturally full of more healing properties. He was just born that way, I guess!

Because of the innovative, unprecedented nature of this event, potential investors in The Ranch and the future of 100% Natural Cum Milk will be joining the festivities via live stream from all over the country and even internationally. We’ve also sent our faraway prospective patrons sampler variety packs of my cum cow’s sperm milk products. My staff and I have artisanally arranged about a dozen Starburst-sized, gold foil-wrapped squares inside each box. Open them up, and you’ll find a cube of condensed, concentrated cum milk. Add water for a full glass of refreshing, all-natural cum cow milk or eat it as a candy right out of the wrapper. The choice is yours, and you get to enjoy these samples while watching the first-ever Male Cum Cow Expo. Exciting, isn’t it?

The appearance of the male cum cow is less important than you’d think, as far as affecting the milk’s taste.

However, my caller and prize cum cow is both toned and tasty. In the category where cows are judged by the overall quantity and cum production, he easily takes the lead. Four tablespoons in one milking! Look how forceful yet gentle, sensual his new handler squeezes out each tiny drop. She could get a few more drops of sperm out of anything. And especially out of my caller, the cum cow she has been handling for almost 8 years. She knows his body better than he knows it himself.

During our phone sex chat, we talk about the other contests my cum cow’s milk might appear in at the fair. It’s likely some of the pies The Ranch enters in the baking competition will contain our all-natural cum milk. If you were tasting the sugar cream pie I’ve prepared using exclusively sperm-based milk, would you give it a blue ribbon? The cum can even replace the eggs as a binding agent. And it makes such a perfect custard. Doesn’t it?

Don’t forget to try our signature “Cum Cow Fantasy” (trademark pending) cheesecake. And wait until you taste our special cum milk ice cream. Because our cows all sign consent waivers, it’s even 100% vegan. Who knew one day there’d be vegan animal milk??

Is there something else you’d like me to use your milk for? Good. I’m ready to find your prostate with my team of femdom handlers. Spread those cheeks and open up!

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