I’m your bitchy girlfriend fantasy cum true, twerp.

Looking for the emotionally vindictive, absurdly hot lady from your kinkiest bitchy girlfriend fantasy dreams? Perfect. Because I’m right here. And I can’t BELIEVE you missed dinner with my parents again! Not to mention the apartment is a disaster. God, what have you been doing all day? Jerking off AGAIN??

Sure, I have a mean streak. But I have such a divine pussy and tight ass you just don’t know how to quit me. Plus you secretly get off on what a cunt I am sometimes. Nice girls are overrated. Personally, I find people who are always nice, optimistic or in a “good mood” fucking weird. And not in a fun way. How much verbal abuse will you take me doling out in front of all your male friends? What about in front of my pretty girlfriends? You’re wrong if you think I’m putting out tonight without giving you a public tongue lashing. And DON’T you even think about calling me “babe.” Ugh!

Trying to please and appease me is always a losing game.

In my real sex and dating life, I tend (and prefer) to be the more dominant partner. Female-led relationships are the only kind that really gets me wet. Do you have a relatively egalitarian relationship in real life but fantasize about a strong woman taking charge? Do you long for me to boss you (and your cock) around despite being the more “dominant” partner in your real-life marriage? I’m ready to take control.

My first long term, “serious” teenage boyfriend never asked me to take the reigns out loud, per se, but I definitely wore the pants. Ryan’s friends teased him, but he liked it that way. He was even my first cuckold, although it would be years before I learned that word. I still remember the sound of him crying while he stood outside the dorm room of a guy I’d wanted to fuck me all semester. At the end of the night, he’d crawled back into my bed and was waiting for me in my room at college. He still cried a little bit, but eventually, he understood. I needed to follow my whims and do what made me happy.

Even when I left him for another woman, his desperation to prove his devotion just grew stronger.

I’ll never forget how he begged me not to leave him. I did feel a little bad, but he had just been slacking off a little too hard. A good boyfriend knows idle hands are the devil’s playground. And a good boyfriend knows that when I say “jump” he says “how high?” Fucking duh.

You’ll learn during our bitchy girlfriend fantasy call that making me happy is the foundation of our relationship’s real, perverted joy. The real question is: how bitchy do you like me?

I can be just a little bit of a cunt if that’s what you like. Maybe I’m your haughty trophy girlfriend, materialistic and emotionally high maintenance. I’ll nag you. It’s hardest on me, you know. It’s not my fault I have to constantly scold you and tell you what to do!

Maybe you’re hungry for cuckold phone sex as a taboo medium for your bitchy girlfriend fantasy. Perfect. Because guess what? I’ve been fucking around on you. Don’t act like you had to check my phone to “know for sure.”

Of course, my favorite bitch-o-meter level is brutal femdom humiliation. You’re so lucky to have found me. A pitiful wimp like you doesn’t deserve me. I have sadistic streak (and legs) for days. We might look like a normal couple to the outside world, but behind closed doors I keep you locked in a cage, hogtied. And I don’t use regular ashtrays at my house anymore now that I’ve found you. If I like you, I’ll put a chastity cage and wear the key around my neck.

Nice girls finish last. You finish when and IF I give you permission.

Having a bitchy girlfriend in real life isn’t as fun as role-playing the fun, fuck-centric parts of my melodramatic prowess on the phone. So if your actual girlfriend is treating you right, you don’t have to pretend that’s what really turns you on. I know you need a firm hand, and don’t worry: I’m going to be in an extra bitchy mood for YOU!

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