Why is sex so physically awkward?

Yeah, I’ll admit that this is not the most erotic topic to be covering in a blog post.  However, this is something that we have all encountered at some point or another in our sex lives.

We have all had it happen:  You’re going at it hot and heavy and the next thing you know, your dick *slams* into her ass!  Granted, this means that your dick is virtually uninjured.  But now you have an extremely agitated partner who is probably feeling some pain.  She’s completely turned off and you’re left to figure out how to cure your hard-on while also trying to make her feel better.

If your dick didn’t slam into her ass, it slams into her “taint”.  Now the both of you are in pain and nobody is getting off.

Okay, then there are the bodily functions… Here’s the scenario: You’ve had a great dinner *and* dessert *and* drinks before heading back to your place for a “cup of coffee”.  You’re rolling around in bed, hitting all of your favorite positions.  During the shift, somebody “farts” and now the situation can go either way: You can let the mood get “ruined” or you can laugh it off and jump right back in.

There is also queefing (aka “pussy farts”).  And this can be *really* awkward.  It’s almost like we have to “explain” (like you don’t know that it it’s just air!) and that just makes thing more weird.

So, when you’re out in “the real world”, getting your fuck on, remember this sage piece of advice: “Life isn’t like porn, son.  If you lick their ass, you’re gonna get sick” ;).