Anything goes accomplice play means absolutely no limits and no taboos, period.

Anything’s possible in the smutty, physically unconfined theatre of phone sex: like anything goes accomplice play, for example. Real “anything.” It’s just plain fun to riff off each other and take your fantasy to somewhere deeper and darker than it already was. There’s a warped, utterly fucked scenario you can’t get out of your head until you cum. Guess what? I have a sick fantasy dancing in my head, too.

Stuck up, haughty snowflake bitches annoy me — on a good day. On a bad day, their entitled, helpless princess routine brings out my diabolical cunt side. Recently I had to initiate an unpleasant, very sudden seeming (but, the more I thought about it, actually a long time coming) “friend breakup.”

Once upon a time, I guess we had things in common and shared meaningful camaraderie. But nothing lasts forever, and miserable losers who try to fuck with me are playing a losing (and ultimately, sore loser-type) game. Last week, the painful and disappointing reality that one of my longtime girlfriends had devolved into pretty much a textbook example of your garden variety basic-bitch became impossible to deny any longer. Sad, sure, but even worse: fucking BORING. Ugh.

It’s off to the chopping block for her pathetic, whiny ass.

She’d morphed into an increasingly insufferable spoiled brat, unfortunately. At best, I realized I was feeling bored hanging out with her — and my mother always told me only boring people get “bored.” Her ugly cryer tantrums seemed to be metastasizing in their misguidedness and sophomoric-ness. I didn’t care about curing her Stage IV assholism, it was too late — but I wanted to give her SOME kind of treatment as a parting gesture.

I need your help to give that pretentious, delusional waif what she fucking deserves. Of course, you’re thrilled to play accomplice to whatever deranged shit I’m about to suggest — no matter how illegal, violent and utterly fucked up. Aren’t you? I hope so if you’re calling me for extreme taboo anything goes accomplice play!

I love those moments we both reveal how depraved what we’re really thinking is.

I’ll lure her over easily, tempting her with yet another “Girl’s Night.” I’ll pretend to be interested in listening to her moan on about her “terrible problems” and wanting to endure her endless crocodile tears once again. I’ll smile, nod and pat her back oh-so lovingly knowing that in just a few minutes her house of stale-ass vanilla cards is about to come crumbling the fuck down. You’re waiting in the bathroom for her. We decided she isn’t worth the waste of sedatives. A knife to her lily-white throat will scare her plenty.

Finally, she excuses herself to the ladies’ room. I start to feel so excited. A wave of full-body, visceral, electric arousal shot through me as I heard her muffled muppet-sounding scream from behind your hand. Surprise, bitch!

This is already SO much fun. Energized by her muffled caterwauling, I can’t resist acting on the first whim that pops into my sadistic mind. I run towards the bathroom, shouting her name with faked panic.

She thinks I’m going to try to “rescue” her. Isn’t that hilarious?

But I can’t quite get through all three words of “Oh my God” out of my mouth before bursting out into hysterical laughter. Her face is priceless, making me cackle even harder. I see you grinding your cock into her as you press that recently sharpened blade nice and close. She’s so stupid. This naive braindead little whore is shaking, convulsing with terror even though the edge is a perfectly safe distance for playing. She’s acting like your fingers are already loosening their grip on a guillotine pulley. Sheesh. So sensitive. Some people just have no sense of humor!

I lean into her ear and whisper, “I’m going to give you something to cry about, bitch” before licking one of those hot tears streaming down her face, through your strong hands covering her mouth.

I pace menacingly, getting ready for my next question to half-spit in her deaf ear.

“Do you think the world owes you something, you dumb cunt?”

I don’t owe her shit, obviously, but doling out hardcore female domination is doing God’s work. This bitch is about to reap what she’s been sowing.

She tries to shake her head no, whimpering unintelligibly behind your tightening grip. You pull her hair. Even her howl of pain seemed half-assed.

“You can do better than that, bitch.” You throw her down to the floor like a rag doll. All those wasted years of demanding, expecting other people to wait on her hand and foot and cater to her uninteresting, never satisfied whims? Well, those are NOT going to serve her well now. Look at her limp, laughable attempts to “resist.” Well, I guess that’s what she’s doing, anyway! What a dumb bitch.

Don’t worry, you’ll find out what happened to this vain, unoriginal weed in my otherwise thriving “garden” next week.

And if you’re looking for the best phone sex from the sickest, most sadistic, and diabolical Queen of Mean in the business? Congratulations, you just found me. Call me for anything goes accomplice play — I can’t WAIT to be your partner in taboo crime!