Are you fed up with trying to masturbate alone?

Are you getting bored with your sad right hand? Is she just not doing it for you anymore? Do you need some spice in your sad single life?  WELL LOOK NO FURTHER! I’m here to show you guys how to masturbate with some homemade toys. But don’t worry, you don’t need to rush to the store to buy anything. You can get yourself off with some of my favorite fruits that you’re guaranteed to have right at home.

Our first fruit is going to be the banana feel

Now the only item you’re going to need for this one is a nice regular sized banana. And your big cock, of course! Take the banana and peel it to remove the fruit, or cut the end off and squeeze the fruit out.Once you’ve removed the fruit from the skin, clean it out and fill it with your favorite lube.Wrap the skin around your penis, or insert it into the cut off the end and proceed to masturbate. Give yourself a little vitamin D for your vitamin D if you catch my drift.

The banana peel works great for getting rid of that sticky mess afterward, also! And for a lil added fun try sticking the banana peel in the microwave for a few seconds to get it nice and warm. But check it before you start to masturbate with it. Those suckers get hot as fuck super quick and we don’t want you scorching that cock of yours! (or do we…)

Our second fruit is going to be a melon

All you’re going to need for this is a melon (obviously?) And a knife (don’t hurt yourself)

You’re going to want to get either a cantaloupe or a honeydew. Why? Because they’re soft, dumbass. Cut a hole in the side of the melon approximately the size of your cock. And cut another small hole on the opposite side of it. (You can put your finger over the smaller hole to create more suction) You’ve got two choices. You can either thrust into that honeydew like it’s the girl you’ve been jerking it to for months. Or you can move the melon around like that pretty little princess is giving you a blowjob. You can do pretty much whatever you want, so long as you have the imagination.

So what are you waiting for? Grab that fruit and masturbate! But be sure to tell me all about how great it feels, and also to thank me. (You’re welcome)

If you wanna hear about some more homemade toys you can masturbate with, just call me!

Best Phone Sex!