Cum Con”COCK”tions

We all know the basics, cum makes babies, babies are great, yada, yada, yada. Ever wondered what other glorious uses this magic elixir might have? Well you are in the right place, let me give you a crash course in Cum ConCOCKtions.

After wondering about the uses for cum for a long time, I decided to embark on a research adventure. My findings were both hilarious and unusual, but as those of you who know me well know, I am up to try anything once 😉


Out of the spray and no time for the cleaners? Mix a small amount of cum (2 tablespoons) and dilate with lukewarm water (2 tablespoons) in a spray bottle. Spray on wrinkled area and voila! You now have wrinkle-free clothes!


For many years I have heard numerous men abide by the theory that cum can take years off your complexion. So much so, that women in many ancient civilizations swear by this tired and true practice.


During my research I came across a fascinating subculture that uses cum to cook. Yes, you read that last line right, to COOK! Now, I cannot say that I have had the pleasure in indulging in the cuisine, however, I am interested if there is anyone out there willing to ‘donate’ to the cause.


Cameron Diaz is a girl we can all learn a thing from. Using cum to gel your hair is definitely a real thing!


Who knew your cock’s own creation could double as medicine. Research has shown that cum can assist in the treatment of

  •        Morning Sickness

  •       Depression

  •       Ovulation Control

Food For Fido

We all know dogs will eat just about anything (at least my two will), so give them something unusual in taste and extremely healthy. Cum for the canine is a quick way to get him a protein-rich meal packed with vitamins and minerals from his favorite cock, I mean companion.

Tooth Whitener

Need to spruce up that smile? Cum on those bristles and brush away.

Invisible Ink

Need to send a secret someone a note? Why not send it in the best invisible ink around? Grab your quill and dip it in your special sauce. Give you honey a black light so she can see your special sweet sayings.


After Martin Von Ostrowski used his own cum to create very famous works of art for the Gay Museum in 2008, people everywhere decided that creating with your cock, is pretty fucking cool. Plus, these cock creations don’t require an eighteen year commitment or a crazy bitch calling for child support and alimony once a month.

Now we all know he many uses of cum. I get a little curious, just have to know things for myself, and “cumming” across all of these, I knew I just had to share them with all of you!! So, give me that cum, there’s so much I can do with it!!