The Reasons I’m Polyamorous
People often ask me why I’m polyamorous and there are many reasons. First, because I believe that we as humans have an infinite amount of love to give. I believe that we can love more than one person, without loving one or more of those people less than another. Also, I was very unloved as a child. So I think that plays a part in why I feel the need to be needed by more than one person; why I need to feel like more than one person wants me. I like being loved by more than one person. I realized after years of serial monogamy; monogamy will never and could never fulfill me.
Another big reason I’m polyamorous is because the style of polyamory that I am. I have more casual relationships than long-term committed ones.
I enjoy the freedom that this sort of polyamory brings, and I know that with love, comes heartbreak. Don’t want to feel like that ever again. Enjoy being prepared and ok with it when a separation happens in one of my more casual relationships. I know that nothing lasts forever. No matter how badly you want it to, but that doesn’t make it any easier when I feel so close to someone who I can share my hopes, fears, dreams and secrets and suddenly *poof* they’re no longer there. Losing someone like that, someone who was your best friend as well as your partner, is so much more painful than losing someone who you were casually involved with.
I believe that you can make the conscious decision not to love someone.
That is to say, that you can choose not to love them. If you don’t make that conscious decision, you can fall in love. And I work very hard to never fall that way, especially with casual partners. I’ve had my heart destroyed, and I don’t need to feel that way ever again. Maybe some people would call me dramatic, or cold-hearted, but I’m not. I just can’t let myself be that vulnerable with someone after all that I’ve been through in the name of love.
Sometimes casual relationships hurt, similar to being in love, because you get used to having someone in your life and enjoying time with them and intimacies with them, and suddenly there’s a void in your life that used to be filled with someone who you may not have loved, but you cared for.
Nothing about relationships is easy, but it’s worth it to feel human connection. Human’s are designed to be connected to one another, and without some sort of human connection, there’s a void in your life that nothing could ever truly fill.
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