What did you call me? A MILF??

My Neighbors went away for a few days this past week and asked me to keep an eye on their place. They always look out for mine when I’m traveling so I figured I’d return the favor. Tuesday night, I looked out my back door and saw 2 lights flashing around in the barn. I grabbed my Bodyguard 380 and headed out back. I was very quiet walking across my yard into his. So I heard them talking about a milf, there were 2 voices. The barn door was wide open and I knew Jack never left it that way.

I stood at the door, gun drawn. I saw 2 figures rifling through Jack’s toolboxes. “What the fuck are you doing in here?” I demanded.

” OH SHIT!” They said in sync.  ” Turn around assholes!” I said. As the 2 punks turned around, the one on the right said ” Holy shit, Milf gotta gun”

“What did you call me?” I said, glaring.

The one on the left began to speak up for his friend..” A milf? a hot lady? a beautiful woman?- Look lady, we’re only 16… well I’m 17, Brad here is 16, and the guy that lives here called the cops on us last week for skateboarding in his driveway, we figured we’d get a little payback, take a few of his tools and call it even, we don’t want any trouble”

” Put Jack’s Shit BACK! get your shit out of here, and come with me.. unless, you want me to call the police. Twice in a week won’t look too great on you guys with our law enforcement… oh and shut the fucking barn!” I commanded.

They hurried to do what I said. “Let’s GO!” I rushed. I stood waiting outside the barn, more relaxed.

” Ok, your Brad right, smart mouth? ( he nodded) and who the fuck are you?”  I asked, pointing at his know-it friend.

” I’m Derek, ma’am,” he said almost sweetly.

“Follow me.” I began to walk. ” If you try to run, I will wound you, and then I will call the police… best to do as I say”

They followed.

I opened the door to my home and waved them in. ” Ma’am, what’s your name?” Brad asked.  ” I thought it was MILF, according to you”

” Milf is a good thing lady, it means your hot, like a lady old enough to be a mom, that I would… you know… do it with” Brad said cockily.

I laughed. ” Is that how you think you should speak to women, you little punk fuck?” I snarled at him. I didn’t like Brad, he seemed like a dick… But Derek, now Derek I could reason with.

” Derek?” I said, lying my pistol on the table, and unbuttoning my top. ” Do you think, I’m a milf?” I let my shirt fall open, and I began unbuttoning my pants.  Derek’s mouth fell open, and he started to stammer.

” Do you think you could please a woman like me?”

Brad piped up ” I know I fucking could” His voice cracked. ” Shut the fuck up, I didn’t ask you… I asked Derek” tracing my fingers along his jaw line.  I looked in his eyes and said “MILF, does stand for MOM I’d Like to Fuck, right?”

Derek shook his head yes.

“So, Fuck me.. right here in front of Bitch boy,” I said as I slid my pants down.

Derek was completely shocked…

but all he needed was a good teacher

 

to be continued…

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