Sex Jokes: Top 100 Funniest & Sickest Sex Jokes of All Time Part I

I have searched long and extra hard (cock) to compile a list of My Favorite online Sex Jokes about sex positions

I hope you find these as funny as I do. Warning Some of these jokes a very fucked up, but fucking funny none the less.
 Sex Jokes # 1-10
1.
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221.” 
 
2.
A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?”
The mother replies, “Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.”
“You’re wasting your time,” said the boy.
“Why is that?” asked his mom, puzzled.
“Well, when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

3.

What’s the worst way for a pedophile to apologize to their victim?

Makeup sex.

4.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

5.

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

6.

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

7.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

Enjoying this? Check out my Complete List Of Fetishes

8.

What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit.

9.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

10.

How is spinach like anal sex?

If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.

Stay tuned for Sex Jokes #11-100

 

 

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