Funny Sex Stories: That Time I Met A Stranger From Craigslist For Sex

My panties and bra were a matching black and silver lace. I was smoking that night!
Funny Sex Stories

When it comes to funny sex stories, I have a few! But for right now, I want to tell you about the time I met a stranger from craigslist for a booty call.  So go ahead and sit back;  you’re in for a real great and humorous treat! 

Most of my funny sex stories are not extremely funny, but rather generally humorous. I suppose I’ve always been a bit of a slut. I may be new to phone sex, but I am no stranger to the land of fantasy role play. Before becoming your local paid phone whore, I was an avid sexting Queen! This really goes back to my teens, when I used to get it on in online chat rooms or on AIM messenger. More recently of course, I’ve used craigslist, the whisper app or Tumblr to fill my need for sexy anonymous role play action.

Funny sex stories are always a bit outlandish, a bit risky and of course risqué! I loved anonymous apps not because I couldn’t find men in person (I mean, have you seen my ass?) but rather the risk and mystery surrounding the experience. Knowing that the person you’re talking to could be anyone, made it all seem so intense and exciting!

One of my favorite funny sex stories to share, is the time that I fucked a military security guard.

I found him on craigslist and we sexted on and off for a few days. This guy had me so hot and worked up! I was taking breaks at work to go to the bathroom so I could sext him and rub my hot little clit till I came. I finally got up the nerve to meet this guy. It was 3am and he was working! When I asked him what was up, he said: “Not much little lady, just patrolling the main gate, gotta be sure there’s no one sneaking around, up to no good!”

Well when it comes to funny sex stories, I’m always up to no good!

I drove over to the base, where he instructed me to park a little ways from the main gate. I’ll tell you that my nerves were on high alert! I was looking hot though: I wore my 6 inch stilettos, my black thigh high stockings with a tight body-con dress. My panties and bra were a matching black and silver lace. I was smoking that night!

He pulled up in a pick up truck and told me to get in; he drove us over to a semi-secluded area just off the base. We talked for a bit, but obviously I wasn’t there to chit-chat. Pretty soon he had my lips wrapped around his cock. It tasted so good! After a long few days of dirty sexting, and sexy fantasy play, I was lusting for his thick cock. My panties were soaked, which he noticed when he reached back and to play with my tight pink pussy.

Did I mention that as a military guard, he had this rifle in between the seats of the pick up? That’s right, my sexy ass was resting just above a loaded gun.

But that’s what makes this one of my favorite funny sex stories! Anything could have gone wrong that night. We could have been caught, fucking each other’s brains out and been charged for a federal crime! I could have shown up and instead of a 25 year old army dude, met a 56 year old creeper. I mean, anything could have happened!

But what did happen, was not so much a part of my funny sex stories collection, but rather a great way to end a sexting adventure: He fucked me from behind while I bent over the passenger seat, my ass hanging out the pick up while he rammed his thick cock in my hot wet pussy, until I came all over him. Then he pulled me out of the truck, closed the door, picked me up and with my back against the passenger window, he drilled his dick up into my swollen pussy until he was ready to cum. I still remember the last words he said to me:

“Damn. I had no idea you craigslist whores could be such hot fucks! Here’s $40, I hope that’s enough. That’s double what the last whore charged me, and she didn’t even come to me. I’ve gotta get back on duty now, maybe I’ll text you again next week, Emma.”

He thought I was a prostitute! That was definitely one for my funny sex stories collection, I thought to myself. I pulled my big girl panties up, and went home with a huge grin and a hot cream pie for my boyfriend to clean up.

Do you have any funny sex stories? I want to hear all about them!

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Emma is fun, flirty and ready to share her kinks with you! She considers her mind a NO LIMITS fantasy play ground! She has a rich imagination and really loves to let her words rub you in ALL the ways you crave! Find a fetish, or a fantasy, and have fun!
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