Your bug chasing fetish is extra forbidden, taboo-wise. Let’s talk about how sick you wish you were.
What does it mean to have a bug chasing fetish? Also known under the euphemistic name of “gift-giving,” “bug chasing” is a slang term usually used within gay communities (but not exclusively) to refer to a person who is actively seeking out HIV infection. It may sound “crazy,” but guess what? It exists in real life. I may advise someone IRL confiding their bug chasing kink to me to perhaps explore other “niche interests.” But guess what? I am THRILLED to indulge this unusual fantasy during our adult chat. No need to be shy with me about your secret totally fucked up sexual wishes. Don’t worry, I’m positive! Just kidding. But you will be by the end of our taboo phone sex call.
Freud and his successors have long discussed something called “the death drive.” The death drive is a way of thinking about a possible explanation for the human desire to repeat traumatic and or painful past events. Think about self-destructive behaviors, for example. If having a bug chasing fetish isn’t a self-destructive behavior (or fantasy), I don’t know what is!
Sometimes I speculate that my bug chasing fetish callers remain (again, secretly) fixated on the masturbation fodder that excites them so much because they are self-hating about their desires to have sex with men. Seems like if your homosexual desires, longing (or scarier: “nature”) is closeted and a great source of shame, you might consciously or subconsciously want to punish yourself for it. The ultimate punishment, of course, is death. Seeking your own death under the guise of following your/”the pleasure principle” makes sense, in this case.
But maybe your bug chasing fantasies spring from somewhere else entirely.
Sometimes people who have “no real problems” invent or create some to compensate for the lack of attention they feel they should be getting. Is this you? I won’t judge. I’ll indulge you, of course. But maybe your shocking (propriety-wise, but certainly not to me) jerkoff narratives aren’t some kind of sexual Munchausen’s. I very much look forward to hearing any explanation. In fact, I dare you to try and shock me.
Who would infect you, in your bug chasing fantasy? And if you were/when you finally become infected: do you want to infect others? Sometimes spreading (i.e., being a “carrier” of HIV) is the main component of this particular fetish. Being the brutal, sadistic humiliatrix I am, I tend to attract bug chasers or bug chasers wannabes who just want their own brief (and oh-so underwhelming faggot) candle to be snuffed. Do you need more pity, despite being the beyond contempt, pitiful cocksucking bitch you already are? Fucking perfect. Call me, you fruity cum dump closet case.
Looks like you’re about to cum down with a case of “fuck flu.”
We can get as twisted as you like while we role-play the moments you live out taking that viral load in your sick cum cow fantasy. You’re such a bug chasing fetish queen. Obviously, I’ll need to have him squeeze a syringe-full of his own blood out and squirt it into your eager, neg veins.
I can understand the appeal of desiring a disease so frequently over-romanticized, as obviously political as AIDS. Some of my personal role models succumbed to this disease, which is far from having anything resembling a cure for those who move past the infection, the HIV stage. Cookie Mueller and David Wojnarowicz, for example. What person with a brain in their mind and a passionate, creative, incendiary fire burning deep in their heart wouldn’t aspire to be like such visionaries?
Maybe you don’t want the HIV, the “bug” in your real life. It’s likely that no one who develops full-blown AIDS really wants to suffer from such a painful, incurable illness. But this is the beauty of phone sex. Sometimes, a fantasy has you by the balls so much that you can’t stop being turned on by it. Even if you would never dare to do such things in your “real life,” you can feel safe having unsafe sex with me. Don’t forget to NOT bring a condom, ok slut? Call me. I’m ready to tell you how sick you REALLY are!